Who’s Zoom’n Who?

The homeless situation in Philadelphia is severe.  I live smack in the center where most subway lines stop.  So there’s traffic on foot as well as the streets.  Then there’s the equivalent of toll booths on the sidewalk, the perpetrators of swerving and blocking your stroll to the store. Thanks homeless people.  Thanks for blocking half the sidewalk.  Thank you very much.  

Keep in mind that sidewalks are more narrow here than most other cities.  Many are cobblestone walks that require your attention and definitely bifocals or reading glasses to see what’s going on down there.  What’s going on down there, you ask?

Dirty disgusting feet.  Discarded wrapping paper and French fry holsters from Wendy’s or Popeye’s. Human excrement.  A billboard announcing a person’s name, no address, health condition and a cup.  I’ve noticed that some people keep spare change on them to intentionally tip their favorite homeless person.  I had a favorite on my corner and sponsored him now and then, a lot less now that one night I was vaping in the alley behind my building and saw him shooting up about ten feet away.  His tip jar jiggles less loudly after seeing that.  I mean if nobody’s sponsoring my vaping habit why should I sponsor someone’s heroin addiction.  Who’s zoom’n who?

So today it’s 99+ outside and if you’re standing still waiting to cross the street you literally bake like a potato.  Guess why I’m baking in the sunshine while “others” are lounging in the shade?  

THEM.  

I saw a “homeless” woman with evidence of a recent manicure and pedicure.  Oh and an older one in a wheelchair (pricetag still glued to it) with a lovely straw hat, sun glasses and black silk scarf that covered her cheeks and neck.  Doesn’t that look simply wreak of money?  I worked many years on Manhattan’s Upper East Side where hundreds of women went to the same plastic surgeon and had the same exact face.  On a hot and sunny day they all donned the same straw hat with black Prada sun glasses and black silk scarf that covered their cheeks … to ensure they didn’t melt and slide off.  True!  

Same face, same cheeks, same sun glasses, same hat on this homeless lady in a brand spanking new wheelchair in a different city.  She stole a whole look.  Now I couldn’t see if she had some work done too but I wouldn’t be surprised if she did.  A good percentage of these homeless people may really be homeless, but they’re definitely not without access to money. Are they filing taxes and deducting and expensing their outfits?  

How about the guy that looked like he just walked out of the New York Stock Exchange and started shaking the can?  Handsome man.  Tailored suit.  Pressed shirt.  Polished shoes.

Homeless (?)

Someday I’m gonna grow a set and get myself out there wearing whatever I’m wearing, scrape my fingernails through some street grime and test things out.  What infuriates me most is they’re basically getting tipped for doing nothing other than blocking sidewalks and often adding a stench to the air.  Are they paying taxes on their earnings?  I vote that they should be.  If they are getting paid to do nothing, first of all that’s a part-time job I find appealing.  Secondly, it ain’t like ya gotta be a genius to do the work.

• Moan, groan, twitch and shake the can.  
• Make your own hours and choose your location.  
• Florida for the winter?  No problem.