Threading a Needle

Anyone over sixty try to do this lately?  Mother of God it’s impossible.  That Betsy Ross musta devoured a ton of carrots for lunch.  Interesting fact; carrots are a great source of beta-carotene which is good for eyesight.  But back to that Betsy, she was sewing flags on her deathbed at the age of eighty five.  How in the heck did she make a living that required threading needles?  And get this.  She also survived three marriages yielding seven children. Check it out.  

John Ross           ​(m. 1773; died 1775)​

Joseph Ashburn   ​​(m. 1777; died 1782)​

John Claypoole   ​​ (m. 1783; died 1817)​

She was either extremely patient or a serial killer.  Hey wait a second.  Didn’t the serial killer in Silence of the Lambs sew too?  Maybe excessive threading and sewing makes you snap.  I know I finally had to give up trying to do it in the hopes of moving a button on my jeans so I could keep ’em on.  Now in my sewing kit, there was this little doodad that’s supposed to make threading a needle easier.  Looks like this.

Well in my case it just added insult to injury.  I couldn’t even get the thread through the gadget designed to help me thread the needle. I’ll just have to risk things with a safety pin.  That’s an ouch in the making.  Plus I’m planning on wearing these very jeans to go out to dinner.  And the dinner’s at a steakhouse.  

Hold that baked potato please.  Can I get a side of carrots instead?