Okay who the hell invented this gem? Well I’m ready to spill the beans.
In 1957, Bertha Berman applied for a patent for the fitted sheet. She noted that a mattress needs a cover to keep it clean. Bertha stitched elastic garters to the four corners of a flat sheet. However, the garters frequently popped off. So even though patented, it was considered useless by most consumers.
Housewives preferred the two flat sheet system coupled with the corner fit procedure that hospitals used. There’s also the Army version of the corner fit. I learned that one as my Dad served in the Korean War. But after he died, I sorted through most of his Army pictures and never once saw a bed. I saw cots, bunk beds and sleeping bags. Did he make this procedure up merely to keep his sons occupied?
I remember the fitted sheet being introduced to the Namian household in the early 70s. Subsequent versions of Bertha’s concept made it fit the mattress and remain in place. But that’s not where the plight of the fitted sheet ends.
Pillowcases and flat sheets can be folded and stored neatly. I know less than five people on earth that can fold a fitted sheet; my mother, Martha Stewart and few (unknown to me) crazy suburban housewives with severe cases of OCD. It’s impossible to fold these damn things. I know you’re supposed to tuck two corners together then tuck one tucked bundle inside the other tucked bundle and that’s when I say oh the hell with this and commence manhandling and pounding the thing into something looking like a bloated American Flag triangle.
But that’s not where my issues with the fitted sheet end. I’m probably the last person left that sleeps in a full size bed. The inventory on full size bed sheet sets always sucks. Plus, the full flat sheet is always too short so I buy a full size set and separate queen flat sheet. The end result is I have a dozen never been used full size flats piled up alongside ten bloated triangular American Flags. Makes me insane. Keeps me awake at night. I watched a tutorial on folding the fitted sheet and boy did I end up hating this smug little Miss Know-It-All. She’s egging us on with her look what I can do attitude. She’ll never marry and end up being a lonely crazy childless cat lady who folds perfect fitted sheets for her lonely twin bed.
Does that twin bed intended for a child you’ll never have mock you every single night you crawl into it alone?
Do you worship Bertha Berman? Well do you?
Even Bertha had a husband and several children. I did the research.
Sleep tight.