I think most of their locations are fix’n to post my picture like they do in the post office:
LUNATIC ALERT
“Isn’t that Grandma’s tea service?”
“What’s a tea service?”
The next day that tea service will be tossed out quicker than a knuckleball. So now that we are at the very beginnings of selling our house, there’s decisions to be made. Something old. Something new. My philosophy is if you haven’t worn it, sat on it or washed it in two weeks it’s outta here. It holds zero worth.
“Remember when we bought that painting in Florence?”
“We went to Florence?”
But I do have an annoying habit that the peeps at Salvation Army are already alarmed by. I see it in their face when I walk in. While I freely toss stuff out, I do feel the need to tell people exactly what the object is, its worth and why they are fortunate to have it. Like the olive green Armani suit from Barney’s Warehouse Sale. Gosh those were the days.
Barney’s would have two warehouse sales per year and the deals were mind blowing. Since my measurements are basically those of a seventh grader, I get a lot of stuff just cuz no one else can fit in it. Like my black cashmere suit jacket, a camel coat, navy blazer, several ties, a pair of shoes that would fit a three year old. I thought about handing some of these valuables out for Halloween in lieu of candy then boring some ten year old about the benefits of combing the nap of a cashmere sweater every few weeks to remove little pills. Or why you should always remove the laces prior to polishing your dress shoes. Dear lord, were you raised in a barn?
I do have one necktie I shall never part with just because of the ordeal I experienced to get it. Again, a Barney’s warehouse sale. The object is maroon and navy silk paisley print. Gorgeous. So I pull it off the table, but someone else on the other side of the wall is tugging it back. So this tug of war over this tie starts getting a little rough. I give the thing a really hard yank and I am suddenly face to face with Courtney Love. And this was clearly prior to rehab. What a mess. I think I gasped and she let go of the tie and bolted off. So it’s mine. Courtney Love shall nevah evah have this tie, even though I’ve worn it maybe five times in thirty years. It’s the principle of the matter. I beat Courtney Love. I have something she desired and a good story to boot.
That tie is a rarity. Most everything else is disposable. Yesterday I weighed the options on my prized Pendleton jacket that was my father’s. Easily fifty years old and in perfect condition. A show stopper and conversation piece. I kept it. I don’t have much to brag about. Anything with writing or slogans on it is trashed. I don’t need to be a billboard at this stage of the game. So the purge continues today. I have two huge piles of crap to sort through. Some of the things still have the sales tags on them.
And you know those people at Salvation Army are gonna be made duly aware of that.