Political Profiling

I’m visiting my better half in Houston for a few weeks.  I don’t hate it, it being Texas.  But I can’t stop staring at people to weigh who they voted for in 2024.  For instance, this morning I was in a fancy coffee shop.  Usually this clientele would sway toward Kamala, but when a balding white man wearing a suit with sneakers made a fuss about there being a chip in his coffee cup he clearly MAGA’d out.  

… and you should always check first before you just serve a defective cup.

Well that sealed the deal.  It doesn’t help that many of the workers in the service industry are Mexican.  I’ve seen them treated horribly, and as a Northerner I find it blasphemous.  

Never would I ever.  

I’m analyzing who gets doors held for them and who doesn’t.  Clear patterns have emerged.  

Men for men = no.  That’s gay.

Men for women = yes.  A sign of virility.

White for white = yes.  United we stand.

White for non-white = no.  Divided you’ll fall.

And now that I’ve started profiling, I want to take this survey even further.  I want to ask potential MAGA’s if they’d still vote for him given the current state of affairs.  Surely they’d say that they wouldn’t, right?

I’m not so sure.  At the apartment complex I’m staying at, there are public spaces with televisions. Every morning en route to the should-be Kamala coffee shop, they’re turned on and blasting Fox News.  People watching them are nodding their heads in agreement.  They ain’t changing their vote no matter how expensive it gets to fill their Tesla tank up.  Women fawning over Pete Hegseth.  Men wanting Pam Bondi reinstated.  People lean forward to hear the latest health update on Rudy Giuliani. I want to ask them if they realize he was once Mayor of the most liberal city in America, the same city that just elected a socialist Mayor.  

Why is Rudy so revered in Texas?  Didn’t he once hold a press conference about voter fraud next to the Fantasy Island Adult Book Store?  Didn’t he once sweat hair dye?  Why isn’t he a homo sex addict?  Real men don’t dye their hair.  Pornography is the Devil’s poison.  But it’s Rudy so we send our thoughts and prayers for his speedy recovery.  The man’s practically living in a U-Haul.  In Florida, naturally.  

Here’s a fantasy I employ.  Since Texas and Florida are bordered by water, slice them off and let them float away.  Without them we can take back the House AND the Senate.  These two states (and kinda sorta Indiana) are making the free world miserable. Secede please.  No hard feelings.  Plus by eliminating two stars from the flag, we’ll save money.

One final observation.  Isn’t the American Flag supposed to be the highest flag posted?