Just say NO to Petco.  After the incident I just endured, they’ve lost my business for good.

If you go there, you might reconsider after reading this little gem.  So Thanksgiving is tomorrow and one of our dogs (Zoey) needs a trim and wash ‘n dry.  I booked a slot for a twelve o’clock appointment  Now our usual Petco was booked so I went to a different one in a shady area called Union, New Jersey.  Now to be clear, I never use Petco for grooming but my usual place was booked until December.  So I took a chance.  I even brought Zoey to the veterinarian yesterday to get two booster shots done so I could submit a perfect vaccination record … as if that would impress this particular location.  They didn’t even ask for it, which was Red Flag #1.  

Red Flag #2 was that some youngish husband and wife picked up their freshly groomed dog and were being all goofy about how great s/he looked.  Taking pictures.  Shaking hands with all the grooming staff and thanking them one by one ALL WHILE THREE DOGS AND THEIR OWNERS WAITED FOR THIS DEBACLE TO FINISH SO WE COULD CHECK IN.  

dog feces Stock Vector Image & Art ...

I wanted to kill them then steal their dog just cuz s/he was sorta cute.  Well dog in waiting #2 had a #1.  Zoey and I were #3 and the winds were blowing south if ya catch my drift because we certainly caught #2s #1s drift.  Then the husband of the cute dog turned around and stepped directly into the pile of #2s #1.  All of a sudden Mister Happy Ass turned into the Poop Police.  He’s demanding to know who left the pile on the floor and he’s glaring at me and Zoey.  Um no dice Happy Ass.  My dogs are trained and fully vaccinated, vaccination record right in my pocket for a quick draw.  

One of the groomers took Happy Ass’s sneakers to clean them off.  However nobody took the initiative to address the elephant pile of poop in the middle of the waiting area.  There was a station with a sign that said Accidents Happen complete with sanitizer, paper towels and plastic bags.  So I went at it.  Scooped the poop with a plastic bag and (not to disgust anyone further) let’s just say it was a rather loose stool.  Dog #2 needs fiber supplements. That’s Aisle 7.  I glance at #2s owner to see why she did absolutely nothing about the mishap.  Well naturally she’s yelling at her kids on her cell, something about taking the turkey out of the freezer to defrost in time to prep it tonight.

Earth to Jersey Housewife:  you should have done that Tuesday so stop blaming your kids and stop making like your dog didn’t lay one down that I’m now cleaning up.  So people are walking to and fro and when they round the corner they smell it and start gagging and waving their hands to dismiss the stench, then glare at ME holding the sanitizer sprayer in one hand and paper towels in the other.

One of them:  That’s disgusting.  (looking at me of course)

Another one:  That’s how doggie germs spread.  It’s sh*t like that.  (looking at me of course, the neurotic vaccinator)

That’s when it all went dark.  I dropped all the cleaning stuff and yelled CANCEL MY APPOINTMENT to a woman behind the desk then grabbed Zoey’s leash and split … well actually slid right into the remnants of #2s #1.  I had a Sophie’s Choice moment.  Do I just leave foot prints all the way out the front door that are traceable thus cementing my status as the perpetrator, or do I take my shoes off and walk in my socks to the car.  Sophie (me) went with option #1 while muttering F this place and glaring at anyone making the wrong assumption.  That being that I’m a disgrace.  Listen up you Union, NJ residents, don’t get me started on disgraces.  Your town’s a disgrace and boy do I know dumps when I see (and clean up and then step in) them.  

So Petco is a big NO.  I’ll have to order food on line which takes a slice out of my dwindling social life but hell no I won’t go to Petco no mo.