The Land of No doesn’t have a specific location, no boundaries, no tariffs. It’s located in a state of mind whose gear is stuck in reverse. So what does that mean?
Think back to the character on SNL named Debbie Downer. She saw the “no” in everything. Offer her a hamburger and she’d lecture you on Ebola. A breast of chicken? Say hello to Salmonella. Babysitting? Might as well rub pink into your eye.
Lots of people simply have the word NO tattooed to their lips. Just think of how many staff meetings last far longer than need be thanks to that person who details how anything (a new water cooler) will eventually fail.
Moving to NYC? Dive into a garbage pit for a swim. These people can’t help themselves. Their favorite line is hey I’m just playing Devil’s Advocate here. Imagine you hire an Interior Designer for your new home and you’re discussing window treatments.
- Curtains > Dust Magnets
- Wood Shutters > Fire Hazard
- Shades > Why not just insert your kid through a pasta roller
They exhaust the realm of possibility to the point that when you walk into a convenience store you find yourself buying cigarettes and saying no to the Lotto tickets you scraped for years. With hope. Why even cling to hope? Stop going to the doctor for that worthless annual check-up. Brush your teeth? Just chew some gum.
I once had a school teacher that was born in the South and taught U.S. History. When we covered the Civil War, she couldn’t concede losing it.
- But Mrs. Baldwin, even the textbook says the South was at fault.
- Well that’s subject to opinion. High-evaah, the North had their agenda too.
There’s no fitting a square peg into a round hole and there’s no getting a citizen of the Land of No to move to the Land of Yes.
Do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?
I guess I’ll give it a try.