I took another trip last weekend. Left Newark on a 6:00 AM flight to Chicago meaning I had to wake up at 4:00 AM. Imagine how dismal 4:00 AM looks this time of year, and add to that the presence of drones circling overhead. Yes, it’s true and no matter how many times we are assured there’s nothing to fear, guess what? We innately fear the unknown.
We’re human beings, for the time being.
Now the fine TSA representatives on a good day are caustic. On a bad day at 5:00 AM, they’re absolutely growling mad. They bark out directions that seem to change every other person. If you take your coat off, you get yelled at to put it back on. If you leave it on, you’re yelled at to take it off. I had a half filled bottle of mouthwash confiscated from a huffy rep. I pleaded it was well below the three ounce limit, but no dice on that.
I have a pre-check status. What does that mean? Absolutely nothing. No privileges. In fact, even more intense screaming as they think you think you’re better than the rest with your little green checkmark on your boarding pass. That gets their goat.
So once you clear security, you’re half naked, robbed of mouthwash while your belongings have been manhandled and then crumbled all inside your previously perfectly packed carry on. Oh and to prove your bag is carry on acceptable, they even measure it because they they’re after that $40 bag check fee. Friendly skies? Maybe. Friendly ground? No way.
You have priority boarding status since you’ve been in and out of this prison too many times. That status isn’t a status. It’s just another thing to get assaulted about.
“Board only with your group number,” they yell.
Further humiliation as now there’s a hundred other passengers behind you accusing you of cutting the line. You board with your assigned group. Here’s a procedure that needs to be tightened up. You board in groups from the front to back with the back being last. That means the aisle is constantly stalled while major traffic jams form as people are climbing over each to claim space in an overhead bin. Board from the back to the front and ease the traffic, bumping and ill will. By this time, the passengers are turning on each other. Once a team united against terror, we’re now fighting worse than Congress passing a gun control bill.
And speaking of gun control, there’s always a cheaply laminated sign stating NO FIREARMS ALLOWED on the plane. Nothing about mouthwash. But really, if you want a friendly sky,
Lately it seems that every flight is just either too bumpy or too short to accommodate cart service, so that perk is now a write-off. A thing of the past. Years ago you’d get a Thanksgiving feast tossed at you. Then it became a choice between pretzels or peanuts, and now it’s dry mouth and a gurgling empty stomach. No water. No nuts. No pretzels.
You taxi out of the gate so the airline keeps their perfect ON TIME DEPARTURES status secured, then sit on the runway 30 minutes prior to take off. They call this an active runway.
So let’s nutshell this whole topic by saying, the glamor days of flying are long gone. Sheep are herded with more dignity. A passenger isn’t just a seat number, they’re the enemy. And don’t forget to nod to everyone including the pilot when exiting the plane with them saying how much they appreciate your business.
Kindly screw off with that procedure too!