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Janet: Jeffrey, let’s rent Caligula. I hear it’s controversial yet an excellent historical film about a powerful man.
Me: Mom, I heard it’s basically pornography.
Janet: Well you know things were different back then.
Me: Like being a slut was honorable?
Janet: Oh I wouldn’t say slut. Now that Linda Lovelace, well she’s definitely a slut.
Me: The one that starred in Deep Throat? You saw that movie? Mom, what the hell.
Janet: Oh stop with your stiff morality bullsh*t. Bring it up to those Jesuits at Fordham and see what they have to say.
Me: Well, I’m starting to question if their morality is fully in tact.
Janet: What do you mean? Did they do something to you? Tell me. Tell your mother.
Me: Oh my gawd mom, nobody did anything.
Janet: Well we’re paying a helluva lot of money for you to attend that school.
Me: Actually, mom you’re not. Grandpa’s paying my tuition.
Janet: WHAT? When did that happen? Your father’s been working extra hours to pay for you to go to Fordham. That’s why he’s rarely ever home.
Me: (looking perplexed). Sure about that?
Janet: Oh let’s just go to Blockbuster and rent Caligula. I hear it’s fascinating.
Me: Listen Janet, if I want to watch Caligula I’m pretty sure I won’t watch it with you.
Janet: So now I’m the problem. Geez, it’s always the mother. We never get a break.
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This conversion never happened, but it could have. I kid about my parents all the time. While they were liberal about most things, they had their limits. Well they had a couple of limitations. Okay they discussed alotta things. Believe me, if they were alive they’d laugh the loudest at how they’re portrayed. I miss them and their infectious sense of humor. These little stories keep them close to me.