I just got off my weekly tele-therapy session with my psychiatrist. She is simply the best and we’ve struck such a great point of orientation that only time can produce. Man, once I move I am gonna miss her terribly.
Today’s talk was related to this big move that’s about to happen and how people process completion or purgatory or indecision in different ways. I’m always comfortable with doing something and completing it first and likely with flaws as opposed to meandering and stalling out of worrying about the potential of a flaw. Just do it. You’ll find out what’s wrong soon enough. If you strive for that A+ all the time, how will you know when you’ve really earned it?
There’s a thing called the Midwestern Farmer’s Mentality. It’s a sort of known state of mind that gets discussed in therapy when applicable. Here’s a snapshot of the theory:
Agricultural Cynicism
As farmers it’s easy to become cynical. We can slip into thinking that our woes are all due to things that are out of our control; the weather, the government, the markets, the price of fertilizer, fuel, etc. At times we can become known for complaining, stinginess. I don’t think farmers want to be cynics, but after so many failures and disappointments cynicism can become a self defense mechanism against future disappointment. Understandable, but the danger is that we begin to identify ourselves as victims/martyrs who are dutifully growing food for the ungrateful masses of the world.
So yes, it’s a real and studied state of mind and I happen to know someone who fits the bill. It’s not easy to move forward and complete anything when you’re consumed with the flaws instead of focusing on the finish line, flaws or not. It’s a sort of mental purgatory and my discussion with my psychiatrist today was so enlightening. It’s something most people cannot grasp. It’s self defeating, a stalling mechanism and a major deterrent in taking even one step forward.
I remember about twenty years ago, I was at a Chase Bank branch in midtown. A representative was explaining what a debit card is to an elderly woman. She followed the explanation intently then decided she couldn’t do it. She couldn’t manage her money through a plastic card being inserted into a slot. Her words stayed with me all this time:
All I see are the flaws.
It was really quite adorable. As my parents aged they too couldn’t grasp things like texting or emailing yet complained no one stayed in touch with them. That things progress and you have to either go with it or be stuck in neutral. The Midwestern Farmer is so consumed with fear and doubt that they too are stuck in neutral. But what makes it worse for them is that they blame their mental paralysis on the ungrateful people they feed. That’s the source of their cynicism.
There is no solution or pathway to avoid or fix this, which makes it even worse for the victim. They’re stuck. They feel the need to move ahead yet the flaws get in their way and the cynicism paralyzes them. Some say “knowledge is power” so my hope is that someone with the Farmer’s Mentality finally recognizes what’s going on and either seeks assistance or singularly figures it out.
But that’s hard to do when your feet are stuck and then sinking deep into quicksand.