Granny Smith

I’m in the midst of a love affair.  Not with Granny Smith but with her apples.  They’re green and probably the most bitter of the green apples.  This love affair has been going on for quite a while.  I eat at least one per day even though 2-3 per week is the preferred allotment.  And now that I’ve finally learned how to core an apple, well this love affair is getting serious.  No seeds or stems, just pure apple.

There’s that saying that an apple a day keeps the doctor away and experts claim there’s some truth to this. Apples, especially the green ones, reduce cholesterol, are loaded with vitamins A, B and C, aid the digestive track and a lot of other good stuff.  But man are these gems expensive, but then again what isn’t lately.  But I’m finding that anything in the grocery store that’s good for you actually costs more.  Isn’t it enough that your slew of Rxs borders on financial extravagance but an apple?  How’s any kid gonna afford to bring an apple to their teacher now that paper routes are no longer a viable money maker?

There’s another saying I’ve never really understood:  ya can’t win for losing.  I don’t know why but lately it is starting to make a little more sense.  You try doing the good thing and the forces that be work against you.  But lo and behold, didn’t someone just pass me in the street while I was walking the dog last night and mutter under his breath … meth.  That’s right.  You don’t even need to go to a store to get your supply.  You don’t even have to request delivery.  It spontaneously comes to you.  And since there’s no overhead, it’s pretty cheap (or so I assume) so ya can’t win for losing when the green apple makes a dent in the dough yet meth delivery is plentiful.  

Well I fully intend to suck it up and stick with Granny Smith.  The FDA has yet to announce the healthy benefits of crystal methamphetamine.  But with RFK Jr., who the hell knows.  Pretty certain it’s not regulated either which is why you can get your hands on it UNSOLICITED on the night beat just like a playful twenty minutes with a free spirited lady.  I have to say that moving back into the city after ten years in the pollyanna burbs reopens the eye.  You come smack dab with real stuff on a daily basis.  I was becoming one of those pearl clutchers that would say oh dear that just can’t be but oh yes, IT BE.  

Like the homeless people, the rude people, the litterers, the dog owners that don’t pick up after their mishaps.  Stuff like that.  True grit.  And nobody gives any of this a second thought.  I think ten years away from this grind softened me but I’m quickly growing back that tough layer of skin to sustain just about anything the streets have to offer.  Plus now that I’m knee deep in Granny Smith apples, my invincibility is waxing.  

So the Granny Smith apple.  Maybe an apple a day keeps the doctor and the street filth away.  

They’re just so damned expensive.  

Come on Granny, do us a solid and slim down your profit margin.