• Lucy / West Highland White Terrier / Lived to be Eleven
• Gaby /  Cairn Terrier / Lived to be Sixteen
• Zoey / Soft Coated Wheaten Terrier / Lived to be Nine
• Stella / Soft Coated Wheaten Terrier / Five years old and alive

I’m not one to get unreasonable or emotional putting down a dog.  I see it as my promise to them in repayment for all the years of satisfaction and dedication they provide me with.  I’m not heartless but I just don’t really make a big deal about it.  You have a dog, you take good care of it and then some usually vague condition shortens their life.  Of course you could invest thousands to find out exactly what’s going on, or you can have a down to earth veterinarian who offers her synopsis and advice.  

Zoey passed Saturday, September 13.  The procedure was scheduled in advance and happened in Houston.  My only regret was I wasn’t there to be a part of the process.  Was it the right thing to do?  Definitely.  She had brain cancer and was experiencing violent seizures daily, sometimes three in one day.  Afterward, she would be completely disoriented and lethargic from the anti-seizure medication which kept being increased with little success.  That had become her life.  No energy in between the episodes, often no recollection of her surroundings afterward.  The seizures increased in length of time and intensity  as her brain waves controlled her. One good thing; they’re not aware of anything while having one.  Maybe you’re told that for your benefit more than it being the truth.  Who knows?  But when it’s happening, it’s extremely scary and you feel helpless.  You keep them calm if that’s possible and be there as soon as they come out of the experience.  

So putting her down was the right thing, but she wasn’t even ten years old.  That made things a little tough to handle.  I got the call in Philadelphia from my partner in Houston telling me she’d passed and that the vet squeezed her head for some reason and she squealed loudly from the pain.  Man, why did he do that?  For his assurance he was doing the right thing?  We already knew much more than him.  I wish he hadn’t done that.  She passed quickly.  After getting the news I went to a baby shower and never mentioned a thing.  I mean it’s a celebration of life.  No need to put your spin on it.

I know some carry on and weep uncontrollably and have major feelings of guilt and loss.  I just happen to not honor those feelings.  Those are the feelings I felt far too many times while one of her seizures was happening.  Her passing was a relief.  We did it for her.  It’s tough playing God when it comes to our pets but for some reason the veterinarians almost always put it on you.  No affirmations.  No opinions.  They should all go to hell for throwing the guilt on the owner.  But I deflect it along with deflecting all the stories everyone wants to share about their experience.  I really don’t care to know anyone else’s opinion and really want to hold my emotions to myself.  I don’t see these as war stories you share.  It’s a contract between you and your loyal companion.  You do the right thing for them, and when you cease to make a circus out the event you’re preserving the best possible memory of them forever.