Girl Scout Cookies

Who hasn’t fallen victim to these lovelies?  You say you’re buying them to support a worthy cause, yet have no clear idea what a Girl Scout even does?  What do they learn?

Well they definitely development skills strong enough to close a deal.  I mean have you ever told one “no thanks” and left it at that?  Doubtful.  Those thin mints.  You put those bad boys in the fridge for an hour and you’ve got dinner.  The newer Caramel deLite Samoas.  What store-bought cookie comes close?  

Sales gotta be through the roof for this non-profit organization.  But exactly what does a Girl Scout even do, beyond selling fantasies?  Well their website posts a few highly vague priorities like seeking greater access to the world or regular meetups and adventures!  Encouraging young women to reach for the stars,  But aren’t most of the meetings intended for new product details and sales pitches?  

So I’m thinking the Girl Scout organization isn’t much more than a pyramid scheme.  These girls are being abducted, forced to wear dowdy uniforms and knee socks and hang in front of grocery stores, where they impact the store’s bottom line.  Shysters.  If Chips Ahoy had live in-store displays in bikinis, do you think people would pass them by in favor of going outside and spending cash for cookies, then walking to the car empty handed due to the inevitable inventory shortage issues?  Back orders.

So please Girl Scout cookie scammers, take it down the road. We’re so onto you.  Sell street crossings to old ladies or bag their groceries, but if you’re learning how to beat the system at the age of eight, that carries severe accountability issues later in life.

Face it, your operation is a glorified Trick or Treat..  Pick up a soccer ball and get in a real game.