I go to CVS practically every day, just cuz I don’t have much else to do. I stretch out my visits by intentionally not buying something on a Monday that I know I’ll need, with the intention of planning Tuesday’s trip. Hey, pass judgment. I know I would. So, lately many things are locked inside plastic casing, requiring you locate an amicable CVS associate to open it up with a key. Naturally, most times the items you need are of a more personal nature like condoms, stimulation pills, lubricant. Then you have to choose your brand while they wait.
All the cough and cold medications are under lock to frustrate the meth heads. I don’t know much about meth but it sounds like it’s a recipe of stuff you probably already have in your house. Good luck stopping this growing addiction seems.
My husband and I use that brand, says the CVS woman while pointing to a purple colored box named Simple Sensations.
Oh really. Maybe I’ll try that.
Later that night you’re risking third degree burns in a most uncompromising area.
So today I notice that the entire aisle of dental health is now on lockdown too. Toothpaste. Mouthwash, which does contain alcohol. If you’re old enough, you’ll recall the Kitty Dukakis mouthwash and rubbing alcohol cocktail hour on the campaign trail. She woulda done better with shots of NyQuil. Not that I would know anything about that.
But dental care. You can’t stick Colgate and Crest in prison.
Mouthwash I get. Toothpaste? I had to ask someone why.
People are shoplifting toothpaste left and right, so we had to.
Are they sell’n it on the street at a fell off the truck price?
I dunno. We already had three incidents today.
Now since I did have my own private kleptomaniac stage, I get the thrill of five fingering things, I know the security walls you pass through don’t work at all. Maybe they finally fixed ’em? Why not lipstick? That’s a cinch to stuff and hide. A bar of soap. No problemo. Hell, you can even grab a bottle of water and consume it by the time you check out.
But would you buy used toothpaste from a stranger on the streets? Where does this all stop? The profit margin can’t be all that.
Well the good news is knowing that my town is a halitosis free zone.