If you lived with it, you’ll get a little more out of this. If you didn’t, I’ll do my best to bring it to life. The telethon that is.
Certainly not Jerry Lewis.
So every Labor Day Weekend starting Friday at 5:00 PM all the way through Monday at 5:00, Jerry Lewis hosted this telethon to raise money for kids with Muscular Dystrophy. Back then there was much less awareness and hope for it, and Jerry knew this to be true. So he’d host this annual affair and guests would stop by and say hello or sing a song. Something. So it was kinda like a talent show with a bunch of people on telephones behind it. Jerry would get sweatier and more haggard by the hour. He really played up the martyr thing when it’s likely he was half cocked and taking regular naps we never saw.
Oh God love that Jerry Lewis. Year after year. Such a humanitarian.
I had a cousin Lynn. She’d watch every single second of it. Curled up in a wing chair maybe eight feet from the television set. Every single year. She’d keep a chart of money raised per hour and some other stats. Totally into it. Absolutely kind hearted and adorable.
The only thing about it I found a little weird was when they paraded all the kids on stage with MS to this song:
Look at her she’s walking
Look at her she’s talking
Those who’ve never walked or talked before
She’s smiling and she’s laughing
She’s walking and she’s laughing …
I don’t remember the rest … I’d be back in the swimming pool. So I have issue with this part. First of all it was always “her” with the disadvantage and never “him” even though the parade was split 50/50 by gender from what I could tell. The other part was this was so exploitive for the kids. I mean granted they were walking and looking at the camera, but they were struggling and we all knew it. But the hourly parade never failed to make the phones ring. Then, Jerry would cry and sob and turn the martyr switch up a click.
But the worst part (for me) was when Jerry ended every telethon Monday afternoon at 4:55 PM with a heart wrenching rendition of …
“You’ll Never Walk Alone.”
Let’s just say it was a bit much. And after three days, everyone was overly wrought with emotion.
So I’m thinking, guess who needs money really bad and really quickly? Him. Ya know, him the previous prez. Why doesn’t he broadcast a telethon from Mira Largo while he still gets to live in it and he can parade his family in tattered clothing and unshaved faces and even legs. Looking really ragged. Pathetically looking into the camera and begging for a few rubbles. Maybe Daddy can’t afford his stylist and looks like Homer Simpson. Melania has a missing tooth that desperately needs a crown. Ivanka’s reduced to wearing flip flops.
You know it’ll work. And they can throw in reruns of Hee Haw so the cast can do a costume change and come back powdered in dirt.
Now the most Jerry ever brought in was maybe 65 million. DT’s gonna need more than that.
It’s a risk, but everything’s not exactly coming up roses at this juncture.