It’s true. If you have a nine to five desk job you might as well give up any retirement dreams you’re nursing, cuz the only thing you’ll be nursing is a bad back. Hiking, skiing and mountain climbing. Big no. Climbing the stairs to your bedroom? I’d give it six months til your knees buckle.
Every second you spent sitting still and staring at a computer while holding your head motionless has taken its toll. A cuppula disintegrated discs in the lower back or the neck … even worse, arthritis galore from lack of motion. The human body is made to move.
Well we all thought it too if that eases your hip pain, but ya gotta figure in the amount of stimulants we were taking.
Let’s see. There’s so many more joints and stuff you’ve probably damaged already. Sitting into your hips is bad. You’re literally balancing all of your upper weight on two little discs. That ain’t gonna hold up for long.
Thought you’d start a garden once retired? Hell’s Bells. You’re delusional. You gotta have the knees for it, as well as a limber lower back to bend over and pick up shit like weeds or some arrogant Trick or Treater’s Reeses wrap, discarded on your freshly appointed lawn.
Then you think WAIT. We handed out Reeses. So some little ankle biter took our candy, ripped off the wrapper, chowed it down then tossed the orange wrapper on my lawn. You’d try to find the little culprit yet the progression of your cataracts make that a pipe dream.
Hell, You can’t even find your driveway after sundown and you know it.
I do hate being the bearer of disappointing news. There’s a chance your genetics will defy the odds. Just be aware of how many people you see standing at the podium getting their retirement watch, and then the following year they wheel in to see their friend get theirs.
Not good odds. For longevity sake, I’d put all my chips down on the Rolex.
Sad but true.