First Impressions

First impressions. There’s notoriously so much emphasis put on its importance.  Seems to be a narrow view of a person, compared to two weeks in solitary confinement.  So are we still doing this?  Do we really know who you’re hiring based on the traditional interview?  Did the voters in the George Santos district know?

Q:  Why did you leave your last job at ABC Widgets & Co.

A:  I just wanted to expand my experience, ya know?  There’s so much more to learn.

T:  (T = Translation)  Canned for sleeping with the boss’s wife and accumulated lawyer fees up the wazoo.

Q:  So you want to expand your experience.  What do you see in this opportunity that would do that?

A:  Gosh, so there’s just so many enticing aspects it’s hard to list them all.

T:  Never read the job description, especially the part transporting hazardous materials.

Q:  May we have a reference list?

A:  Jeez, that’s touch.  Most of my prior supervisors are either retired or even dead.

T:  Given the minimal things a prior employer can provide, it’s a useless process anyway.

Q:  Well we like what we see, and will get in touch with you.  You realize the salary range is below what you made, right?

A:  For me, money takes a back seat to job satisfaction.

T:  The dude’s a week away from his unemployment terminating, a shit shovel away from homelessness.  

So he’s absolutely perfect.  HR’ll run a standard background check that may reveal a DUI or restraining order.  But he’s green lighted nonetheless. Three weeks later, we see him in the waiting room for Meals on Wheels expressing his passion for helping people in need.

Doesn’t hurt he’s been eating their food for years with five star ratings.